I don't know what I should do?

Ok. I went to my teacher a while ago about my eating disorder, depression, cutting and panic attacks. She was really nice, but had to refer me to the councilor at our school. I didn't like her and went back to dealing with it myself and e-mailing my teacher diary entries. That was fine. I then decided to include the Dean, who's my Math teacher in this. She's incredibly nice and I shared everything with her. Every up, every down, every slip, every high. We became close and I trust her more than anyone else. She then had to get my mother involved because she was legally obliged to. We told her, and got me an outside councilor because I didn't like the one at school. Now I go to her. But the deputy principal got into this and now I'm not allowed to say anything to either of my teachers who help me, or my friends. Nothing. I'm only allowed to talk to my personal councilor, who I don't see very often as she is very busy, or the school councilor, who I despise. I feel cut off from everyone and my cutting's getting worse and I'm considering suicide. And I'm afraid to talk to the outside councilor, who's nice, because she reminds me of my dean, and now I've got some weird fear that she'll leave me standing in the dust as well. I don't know what to do.